When I arrived for the first morning of the first weekend of Supercoach Academy, I sat in my car outside before going in. I had no idea what to expect–and was trying to avoid expecting anything. I wondered if I was going to be the youngest one there. I wondered if it was going to change my world. Thankfully, it was nothing like what I thought–it was way better.
These were my four biggest takeaways.
1. Groups of people amplify feelings
This might explain phenomena like mob mentality. Now, I’ve learned about the Three Principles before. I’ve taken video courses, read books, and talked with people on the phone and Skype about it. But never have I sat in a room with 80 other people and world class teachers as we all learn and explore the same things. The curiosity and intrigue in the room were palpable. It reached a powerful, somatic, and super energetic level that made the wisdom sink deeper into my marrow than it would have by sitting quietly and reading a book. In this context, relationships are created with total ease, because everyone is feeling the same thing. There is immediate common ground and relatability.
One of the most important results of this amplification was that it took me out of my head. The power in the room wasn’t intellectual, it was visceral and intuitive. And (as I discuss in #4) getting out of your head is one of the best ways to reach new levels of wisdom.
2. Resistance, discomfort, and pain mark the way forward
One thing I certainly did NOT expect was for the material to trigger strong feelings of sadness, anxiety, and self-consciousness.
We wasted no time diving into the deep end of the spiritual pool. On the morning of the very first day, Michael wrote two important questions he considers for each coaching client: 1) Do they know that their experience comes from the inside? and 2) Do they know that they’re God?
I thought, f*ck, I don’t know that I’m God. I mean, I know it intellectually, sure. I’ve been learning that for years in my studies of religion and mysticism. But do I feel that way? Nope. Usually, when I hear or read that we’re all God and have just forgotten it, I skip the part about whether or not I actually know it for myself. That’s because typically I ingest it in an intellectual way, as a concept, in my head. Sure, it makes sense that we’re all divine beings, droplets from an infinite ocean, living temples for the soul of the universe–I get that. But this time, I couldn’t just contain it in the intellectual space I’m comfortable with. Remember how I said this weekend’s energy brought everything to a visceral, gut-level experience? This meant that all of a sudden I could no longer ignore the fact that I didn’t know–in my bones–that I am, and we are, God.
This was fascinating.
I reflected on this, and began to understand why. See, there are reasons we don’t all know our true spiritual nature. Those reasons are the skeleton that holds together the small self. What could be further from an experience of the godhead than depression, anxiety, and worthlessness? When I feel those things, there is no way I can accept my inner divinity.
For various psychological reasons that someone could write a PhD dissertation on, we hold onto the small self. Because it’s familiar, because it’s safe, because we’re afraid.
So here’s my theory–when I sat in that room, with 80 other gods, being told that I was god, I was thrust b*lls deep into the layers of myself that I built to convince myself that I’m not.
It was my small self saying, “Oh, you want to realize your divine inner nature? You’re gonna have to get through me first.” And it did so with all of the patterns of thought I use to be sure that I’m not God–depression, anxiety, and worthlessness.
So I was pleasantly surprised to find that when the Academy ended each day and I went to hang out with friends, I felt great. Ligher, happier, calmer. What happened to all that pain?
I see it like this–imagine your inner soul coated with wax. How do you remove the wax?
Ouch! I could feel the heat, the fire, the pain of those layers melting away. But, the point is this: they started to melt away.
What if this is what pain and discomfort are? A call to transform our consciousness, a call to understand reality at a deeper level, the ache of an oppressed, suffering spirit?
Maybe we should explore pain. This seems counter-intuitive. But that’s because we fear our suffering has a very grand meaning (which we’ve made up) about ourselves or the world: that deep down we are weak and small and alone, that we are not deeply loved, that we are not in the hands of a kind reality, that we can truly fail and lose everything.
I invite you to test those assumptions.
Do you know that you’re God?
3. Listening like a rock with ears is better than “active” listening
We did an exercise in three different types of listening. Listening to “affirm” (this is what most of us do most of the time), listening to “negate,” and listening like a rock with ears.
Listening to negate was unpleasant. Listening to affirm was surprisingly annoying and ended up breaking the concentration of the speaker. As the speaker nods along with “mhm”s and “yeah”s, and mirrors the speakers body language, it creates a desire in the speaker to continue saying things that affirm the listeners ongoing validation. It exposed itself to be a fake relationship.
But listening like a rock with ears–it simply felt like REAL listening. As the speaker, I found myself saying things to the rock-like listener I didn’t know I thought until they came out. It was creation in action. And as the listener, I felt so connected to the speaker, and I heard much deeper than just the words she was saying. Beautiful.
4. Flow happens when you’re out of the way
We discussed as a group the way it feels when we’re really performing at our absolute best. And that’s what coaching is all about, right? Drawing out the best in the client, and performing at our best as the coach. And we all had the same conclusion. Top-notch performance, also known as flow or being in the zone, happens when we are out of the way. It doesn’t come from us, it comes through us.
Think about a time in your life–at work, running the mile, improvising a blues solo on guitar, playing a role on stage, whatever you love–when you felt like you were performing at the top of your game. Do you find something similar?
I go into this in great detail in this post. When we try to perform with all of the knowledge, skill, and techniques we learned, it’s feels clunky and we get in our own way. But when we get out of the way and allow experience to come through us… well, the results are just better.
How do we get to the point where it’s easy to allow the experience to come through us? The way it looks to me right now, is simply repetition. 🙂
I hope I’ve been able to communicate even a small bit of why this weekend was moving for me. Do you have a question about any of this? Want to have a conversation? Think I’m full of crap? I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below, shoot me an email on the Contact page, and/or sign up for my weekly email to go deeper into this conversation.