What if everyone was your equal?
This stops the comparison game. And that game is evil because you are never enough, you end up feeling like you’re worse than who you’re comparing yourself to. But also, you have the secret hope that you can actually be better than the person. But there’s no better and no worse. Once that is gone, people are inspiring again, people are beautiful, and we can connect with them from who we really are to who they really are.
Here’s an example from my own life. I work in the ER of a hospital, and I’ll admit that when I first started there I was intimidated. Everyone seemed so serious. They ran around with important medical issues to attend to. It got in the way of doing my job, because I feared that I would be talking to a patient in their room and a nurse or doctor would come in and ask “what do you think you’re doing here?” and berate me.
A totally irrational fear, but it was stemming from my comparing my own importance to the rest of the staff’s importance, and deriving a sense of who I am from it. They were above me.
An interesting sight changed all of that in an instant. I saw a kid who looked so out of place in the ER standing in the hallway. He was tattooed from head to foot (from what I could tell), had gaged ears, a cigarette tucked behind his ear, and loose fitting jeans. But there he was, in the midst of all of these extremely educated, successful, well-paid people, just existing. He stood in the hallway with no shame or apology about who he was.
I instantly relaxed. And when I did, I became more confident in my interactions with staff and patients, and in my role there. I saw that they were people too, just like me. I saw that they have senses of humor, and make mistakes, and complain, and do the best they can, just like me. It freed me.
In other words, seeing that they were no better or worse than me brought me right back to the center of who I am, and allowed me to talk more genuinely to the center of who they are.
How can you toy with this idea in your own life? Is there an area where you are comparing yourself to others and making yourself either better or worse? Because both are false, and both are fictions of the ego. It’s been my experience that we are all equal, and we are equally divine, and equally unique.
And, if you catch yourself thinking, “but how do I stop comparing myself!? It’s a habit!” I invite with you to toy with the possibility that noticing it is enough. If you’re going 60 mph in a car and want to get down to 15, how do you do it? You just take your foot off the gas.